Sofia: Hurry up Gabi it's your first day you can't be late.
Gabi: I know, I know I'm freaking out. I can't find the right outfit. I need something that makes me look professional, capable and like I didn't sleep with my boss.
Sofia: Well we know he likes you in that.
Gabi: Will you just help me please?
Sofia: Ok, It's very simple.He's engaged so from now on you're going to have to wear clothes.
Gabi: I know that. Did you work out?
Sofia: Yes I jogged to the the car dealership for free donuts, to the bank for free coffee and to the coffee shop for free toilet paper.
Gabi: Wow, that's like two miles you totally won't have to sneak into the gym later.... (spills coffee on her shirt) Oh man. This costs five bucks.
Sofia: Gabi get it together, today is the first day of your dream job. Ok it's a stepping stone to a one day being a modern, blonder way hotter Julia Child. So I say this from the bottom of my heart. Don't screw it up.
Gabi: Is that toilet fleshing or my self confidence going down the drain.
Sofia: It's the toilet, I called our landlord three times. And if you need confidence, you're gonna need a power pose.
Gabi: Power what now?
Sofia: It's where you stand like this, you put your hands on your hips and say I got this!
Gabi: I got this?
Sofia: Ok, it's not a question, say it like you mean it. Like your job and paying our eletric bill depends on it.
Gabi: I got this!!
Gabi: Good morning Yolanda. (singing) First day it's up to cook away. All righty! What do I start with?
Yolanda: By picking those up. I'm Josh's housekeeper, not yours.
Gabi: Sorry. First day I messed up already.
Yolanda: And If you want to stay on my good side and you do. Keep your things in the laundry room, kitchen clean and please stop singing.
Elliot: Well, well, well look who's back. Did you have sex with anybody in the elvator on the way up?
Gabi: I was hoping that we could just have a fresh start and never talk about that again.
Elliot: Ohhhh, no.
Gabi: Elliot can you just pretend to like me?
Elliot: I stopped pretending to like girls in high school.
Yolanda: Don't pay attention to him, he's pissy, because they discontinued his favorite khakis at the Baby Gap.
Elliot: Here's Josh and Caroline's breakfast order.
Elliot: Gabi, chop, chop. Yolanda mop mop.
Gabi: Ok, pancakes, bacon. Em, how does Josh like his eggs?
Elliot: Like you. Overeasy. Oh and one tiny little thing. For dinner tonight, you need to prepare an Authentic Chinese meal for four investors flying from Shang-Hai. No pressure. But it does have to be perfect. YOu resume did say that you're familiar with Gong Shal cooking.
Gabi: It did? Ah I mean it did. It's all right Elliot. I got his. What a hell is Gong Shal Style Cooking?
Caroline: It's so big.
Josh: Really? I was worried about the size.
Caroline: I'm putting it on Instagram, so all my friends can see it. I love my new ring so much. And you.
Josh: Oh don't forget tonight I'm hosting this business dinner.I can not wait to introduce you as my fiancee.
Caroline: Oh sweetie about that.
Josh: You're gonna be there right?
Caroline: Absolutley. In spirit.Listen honey. I'm going out with my friends, to show off my gorgeous new ring from my gorgeous fincee. You understand right?
Josh: Fine. Why do you have to be so pretty.
Caroline: I love you so much. I'm gonna miss you while I'm in the shower.
Josh: And I love you too.
Caroline: I was talking to my ring. Cus you I'm taking with me.
Josh: Oh yeah.
Josh: Good morning!
Gabi: Oh, good morning Josh. Mr. Kaminski... Boss Kaminski. ... I, I'm sorry I don't know what to call you.
Josh: Some people call me Kickass Kaminski.
Yolanda: Nobody calls you that.
Josh: They would if you shoot it down all the time. Josh is fine.
Josh: Welcome to your first offical day.
Gabi: Oh, Thanks. Glad to be here. Here's your first offical meal.
Josh: Oh, nice. You've made my initianls out of bacon.
Gabi: Yeah, I was gonna spell your whole name, but I didn't want to give you your first offical heart attack.
Josh: Em, so we're good right?
Gabi: Good, yeah oh yeah, we're great! You know what happened between us at the test dinner there was just a silly drunk mistake, you know thanks to the alchohol I just barley remember. But what I'm trying to say is really don't think of you as a sexy or like a hot way, you know I just really think of you in like a profesonal way.
Josh: I was talking about dinner.
Gabi: Yeah, so as I. Haha, I think of tonight dinner in like a totally proffesional, way. ... turn that right around.
Gabi: (in the bedroom) Caroline!! Waky, waky have some baky, or a free muffin I just bakey. Beautiful breakfast thraid for room I'm completley an familiar with. ... oh shuit. Get it together Gabi. You'be got this. ... (looks into the mirror) I got this!
Caroline: You've got what?
Gabi: Ah, I got... this. Your breakfast, My Lady. (leaves)
Gabi: Ok, breakfast is served. Dang god is the most important meal of the day, because tonidht's diner is gonna be bi*ch. Ok I need black mushrooms, oister saus, ginger, catfish, two ducks and a walk.
Yolanda: Eh, I don't think if you have time for a walk, if you have to get all of that stuff.
Gabi: I just wish I'd had a tab more notice. I'm on tab more truthfully then my resume.
Yolanda: Stop, worring. You are a good cook, you're going to nail this and be here for a long long time.
Caroline: (screams) Aaaa,
Josh: Caroline what's wrong?
Caroline: My ring is missing and that little cook girl stole it.
Yolanda: Ouuu, you're so fired.
Josh: Caroline, I'm sure Gabi didn't take your ring.
Caroline: Juju, she was looking guilty in the bedroom saying "I got this!"
Gabi: No, no no, that's because you caught me in the moment of my power pose. It helps me with my confidence. ... Not so much now.
Yolanda: Damn, I never thought I'd see the day, when a white girl gets finger before the black housekeeper.
Josh: Oh, wait there's gotta be another explination. I totally trust my steff.
Caroline: Ou, that's what I love about you Juju. You think everyone are so good and honest.
Josh: I do.
Caroline: I don't.
Elliot: I agree with Caroline. Gabi isn't a cook she's a croak.
(they all start to argue)
Josh: Ok, everyone relax. I have the intier penthouse on the security cameras. Let's just go to the manager office and get the footage.
Caroline: We can?
Caroline: Oh, Juju, let's go.
Gabi: Oh, my god. Worst first day ever.You know didn't steal that ring. Right Yolanda?
Elliot: Of, course you didn't, you're inosent.
Elliot: And watching that security tape is a huge invation of privacy. We should stop them.
Gabi: Elliot why are you suddenly on my side?
Elliot: Cus is not fair.
Yolanda: And why do you have a sweat mustache?
Elliot: Why do you have realy mustache?
Gabi: Andy why are you wearing an oven mint?
Yolanda: I didn't see that coming.
Elliot: I couldn't help myself. I saw it on the night stand and I had to try it on. And now it's stuck, I'm going to get fired. This is the best job I've ever had.
Gabi: Alright, don't worry we'll help you get it off.
Yolanda: Wait, wait, hold on Gabi. First Elliot you've gotta beg.
Gabi: Oh, that's not really necessa...
Elliot: Please. I'll do anything you want.
Gabi: Oh, c'mon he needs us.
Elliot: Oh, thank you Gabi. I've always liked you best.
Gabi: Em, you're finger is really swolen.
Yolanda: Oh, I got something that can shrink things in a jet fit.
Elliot: Is it a picture of you naked? ...I'm sorry it's a reflex.
Yolanda: No, I was talking about Himory Cream. Now hold steal till I put it on.
Elliot: Himoroy Cream?
Yolanda: You want that ring off?
Yolanda: Ah, aa. On your finger foul.
Caroline: Juju. When we watch this footage, and you see that that little cook girl stole my ring you're not gonna get all violent are you?
Josh: No. ......... Are you? It doesn't even matter she didn't take anything.
Caroline: How can you be so sure? Did you do a background check?
Josh: I can a sure you I checked her very thirly. We're back.
Gabi, Elliot: Oh there you are. Look who it is. Yolanda: Haha, Kickass Kaminski. Oh good news you two. Look what I found.
Caroline: Oh, my god. I love you I love you. Thank you.
Josh: Where did you found it?
Yolanda: In a bag of hot air. The vacumm cleaner. I checked it out after you left and bamm there it was.
Gabi: Hahah. Do you believe it? ... Do you believe it?
Josh: Of course. See Caroline I told you my staff is....
Caroline: But I don't remember droping it on the flor.
Elliot: Well, I don't remember the excat moment when I relase that you are the world's most beautiful woman. But y'arr.
Caroline: Good point.
Josh: Swetie. Isn't there something you should say to Gabi?
Caroline: Yes (goes to Yolanda) Thank you for finding my ring Gabi.
Gabi: I'm Gabi.
Caroline: Oh, I'm sorry I've acused you of stealing, but you were acting like you were hiding something in the bedroom.
Gabi: Well, I wasn't. .. Hiding anything. Specialy in your bedroom.
Josh: The important thing is you've got your ring back.
Gabi: Yeah and that I didn't steal it. I get why you think that I would. I'm tottaly in debt and I could live with that ring for like five, six, twenty years, but you know I'm not stupid, if I wanted to steal something I would take something you wouldn't notice like ten laptops you guys just leave around.
Caroline: She's so nervous, listen to her bable. She's defenetly hiding something.
Gabi: No, no I'm not hiding anything, I just babble, I'm a natural babbler. My parents should've named me Broke.
Josh: Hahha, she said Broke. Hahaha.
Gabi: I'm mean you should've seen me when I was here last week for the test dinner, I just couldn'....
Caroline: That's right. You were here last week. Call the manager back, I want to see all of the security footage from the minute she walked into this house.
Josh: Hahaha. That's not neccesary.
Caroline: I wanna find out what else, she put her dirty little hands on.
Yolanda: Umm, you two are so fired.
Caroline: That's must be the manager with the rest of the footage.
Masseur: Someone ordered a massage.
Josh: Yeah, for Caroline because, she is having sucha strestful day.
Caroline: Oh, Juju that's so thoughtful of you. ( to the masseur) I like is hard deep and no eye contact.
Josh: I just bought myself ninty minutes to watch this footage and get out what Caroline does not need to see.
Yolanda: Oh, you are KIsckass Kaminski.
Josh: Hell, yeah I am. Ouuu toe cramp, toe cramp.
Gabi: Hey are you busy?
Josh: Yeah, having a panic attack. C'mon in, shout the door.
Gabi: I was just calling to see if there's anything else I can do, before I throw myself off the balcony.
Josh: Well, you actually might not have to. Look at the footage in the bedroom, the camera only focuses on the dresser.
Gabi: Oh, as long as it doesn't focuses on the undresser.
Josh: Let's just fast see from the top and see what we've got.
Gabi: Ok, that's us eating on the terrace.
Josh: Caroline wouldn't mind that.
Gabi: There's us drinking and moving to the couch.
Josh: She might mind that.
Gabi: There's my top flying into the champagne bucket.
Josh: She is so gonna mind that.
Caroline: Juju, are you in here?
Josh: Hey, I thought you were getting a massge.
Caroline: No I couldn't relax, the massuer was wearing brown shoes and a black belt. What are you doing in here.
Gabi: Ou, I....
Josh: I thought I keep an eye on here, while I was going over the footage.
Caroline: So smart Juju. Let's play the tape.
Josh: You know what I already did and I watched from the top and no one stole anything. ...... except you my heart.
Caroline: Haha, so sweet. I wanna see for myself.
Josh: Caroline! No!
Caroline: Exuse me?
Josh: Let me ask you a question. Do you love me?
Caroline: More that anything.
Josh: Good. and I love you too. But if we're gonna spent the rest of our lives together you've better start learning how to trust me. I watched the tape and no one stole anyhing.
Josh: But nothing. End of the disscuson. Forget the damn tape.
Caroline: Juju, I've never see you like that. You're so mean and demanding. ... I love it.
Josh, Gabi: You do?
Josh: Good because there's more.
Caroline: Tell me big boy.
Josh: You're coming to dinner tonight, you're gonna meet those Chinese investors and you're gonna love it.
Caroline: Damn, right I am. God I want you so bad now!
Gabi: So, so Is it cool if I go?
Sofia: Hi! Went to China town and got the rest of the stuff you need. And i bought some unleagal fireworks.
Gabi: Yeah, yeah that's what we need around here. More fireworks. (grabs the pupmair and starts pumping the duck) I've gotta huste I'm so over my head with this dinner, and everything.
Sofia: Aaaaa What are you doing?
Gabi: Oh to make is crispy you have to pump air between skin and the meat.
Sofia: Are you freking kidding me?
Gabi: No, no I saw it on Arm Chef and a Looney Toons Cartoon.
Sofia: No I'm talking about this sweat view. Would you take a photo of me right here!
Gabi: Are you listening to me? Today has beeen the worst day ever. Elliot gave me this impossible dinner to make, Caroline thinks that I'm thief and I know I shouldn't have a cruch on my boss and I pretty much don't but then he defended me into his fiancee and ohhh. And then they started doing it on the desk. (duck falls) Damn it!
Sofia: Ok, don't cry. It's just a duck, look how high we are we can just rich throught the window and grabb another one.
Gabi: Sofia it's not just the duck. (starts blowing it) Five second rule..
Sofia: Ok, I get that you're freaking out.
Gabi: Do, you do you really? Because today is just the first day ok , what happens on the second and the third, you knw tonight are coming guys from China. And do you know how many countires there are? And how many lies are there on my resume.Sofia I can't do this job.
Sofia: That's not true, what you can't do is manage your money, get you car to work or get a boyfriend.
Gabi: Ok ok. This is the opposite of cheering me up.
Sofia: Ok, not done yet. What you can do and what you do better then anyone else I know is cook your ass off.
Gabi: My duck was on the floor.
Gabi: Good evening everyone. For dinner tonight we have a whole catfish prepared in the style of the Fughi Inpovance. I hope you find is Fughi and amazing.
Josh: Hahha, Fughi and Amazina that's good.
Caroline: I don't get it. But I'm having a really good time.
Gabi: Ok, next we have a dish that I would like to call a falling duck hehe with a spicy pickled cabbage. .. Ok tuff crowd. .. And lastly I figured that you might me sick of Chinese food or as you call it food. So I made my famous spaghetti and meatballs.
Businessman: Thank god, I m sick of Chinese food.
Gabi: Hhe, seriously. If you like this then you're gonna love dessert.
Bussinesman: Please say apple pie.
Gabi: Apple pie!!
Bussinesman: Wow apple pie.
Gabi: They like it haha.
Josh: Oh, god I catch you. The spaghetti and meatballs that was a stroke of genious.
Gabi: Well, yeah I almost had a stroke making it.
Josh: They completly changed the mood in there. I mean they are finally talking something other than the work. Turn's out Mr. Lee is a scorpion.
Gabi: Hehe, and how cute it was when he and mr. Wing ate my spaghetti and the trout sine.
Gabi: So we're good?
Josh: Well now, yeah it was pretty close with the ring and Caroline and that tape and to be honest I wasn't sure thatyou're gonna pull this diner off. But you've did You're a rockstar. I'm proud of you.
Gabi: I meant am I good to go home.
Josh: Oh hehe, absolutley.See ya tommorw chef.
Gabi: See ya tommorow boss. (in the elvator) I got this. Oh the button.
Josh: You're all here, because I found something on the security footage that we should all see.
Elliot: (on the footage) Marrage? I hadn't thought about it, but yes, yes yess. I love you, I love you, I love you!!
Josh: Oh, we love you too bud.
Elliot: I was talking to the ring.
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